


Keep Secrets (Just To Keep You)

by TortiTabby



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Bartender AU, Christmas Party, Drunk Sex, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Meetings, Friends With Benefits, Getting Together, M/M, more like slightly buzzed sex but you know., non youtubers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:20:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21702100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TortiTabby/pseuds/TortiTabby
Summary: Dan puts himself out there to try online dating, only to get stood up.He moves his pity party to the bar where the fit bartender can't keep his eyes off of him.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 10
Kudos: 51





	Keep Secrets (Just To Keep You)

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the phanworks advent challenge!  
>   
> Thank you @huphilpuffs for beta reading this and listening to my constant questions and worries!  
>   
> This is part one of 2!  
> Title from Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift!

Dan was drunk. He had no intentions of getting completely shit faced earlier in the day when he ironed his shirt and picked the right shade of black skin tight skinny jeans, but his day had other plans. 

Other plans that didn’t include the date he stressed himself sick over for the past week, apparently.

“Hey, can you get me another please?” He caught the bartender’s eye. He could feel his face flush. The bartender was fit.  _ Fit _ fit. He was probably more fit than the guy that stood him up nearly three hours ago, making him look like an idiot all alone in a fine dining restaurant where he filled up with way too many breadsticks while he was waiting. 

“I can but I probably shouldn’t.” The man laughed, not unkindly. “Rough night?”

Dan huffed a sigh and slumped over his empty glass. “Making yourself go out on a date and getting stood up is pretty fucking rough, mate.” 

The guy shrunk back in himself and frowned. “That sounds awful.” His voice was too genuine and sincere for the spiral of self deprecation Dan was in. “This one’s on me, and then you’re getting something with more caffeine than alcohol.” 

Dan laughed and was horrified to hear how wet it sounded. He nodded. “That sounds like a safe idea.” 

The bar wasn’t empty but it was slow enough that the man gravitated back by Dan with a water.

“I’m Dan,” Dan said feebly as he accepted it from him. There was a beat of silence and Dan felt his ears burn in embarrassment. This guy didn't care what his name was or how his night was going. He was just doing his job and watching a pathetic six foot baby dribble alcohol down his front. 

"I'm Phil!" the man exclaimed with a wide smile that was too wide to not be genuine. 

Dan took another long drink before cocking his head to the side and setting his glass down. “Is this Muse playing? I wouldn’t expect a classy place like this to play older songs like this.”   
Phil laughed, his cheeks tinged pink. “I actually make the playlist on slow nights like tonight they let me play whatever I want. It’s usually Muse.” 

Dan shook his head with a smile. “The entire time I was in uni, which wasn’t long, I would just play Final Fantasy or stay in my dorm and listen to Muse.”

“I love Final Fantasy!” Phil exclaimed. He opened his mouth to say something else, but someone called him over to the other side of the bar. He sent Dan an apologetic look over his shoulder as he went. 

Dan entertained himself for the next few hours, either scrolling on his phone and humming along to the music that was playing or getting a quick word in with Phil whenever he got a chance. He knew he should pack it up and go home. He needed to tuck his tail between his legs and lick his wounds and hope to get the courage to put himself out there again after such a big hit to his ego. It wasn’t easy to put himself out there in the first place. He stayed long enough and drank enough of the water and soda Phil kept sending his way that he no longer felt drunk, barely even buzzed. He wasn’t sure if he was grateful for that or not.

“Hey.”    
Dan looked up and Phil was staring at him intently. “That guy– the one who blew you off and didn’t show? He’s an  _ idiot _ , Dan.”   
“Right.” Dan barked a hollow laugh, face burning. “Really missed out here.” 

“Dan.” Phil placed a hand on his. “We close in ten minutes, and–”

“Oh, sorry!” Dan stood and started gathering his things.

“Dan, wait, please. I’m not usually this forward. I just– I–” He took a deep breath and locked eyes with Dan. They were piercing and unapologetic, taking all of Dan in. “Would you like to come back to mine?”

*

Phil was all teeth. Knocking against Dan’s in a smile while he pushed him against his bedroom door, grazing against Dan’s neck, causing goosebumps to erupt all across Dan’s bare body.  "He was all teeth, biting into Dan's shoulder as he climbed on top of him, slipped his hand down Dan's body and pushed inside. He fit better than anything Dan could remember through his pleasure muddled mind.

Dan collapsed onto the blue bedsheets and snorted at the plushies lined up on the dresser by the bed. 

“That’s a sound every guy wants to hear after,” Phil joked weakly.

“No, no.” Dan laughed again. “I was laughing because I have the same Totoro plushie on my dresser.”

Phil rolled over and smirked at him. His eyes were bright and intimidating, even half lidded.

Dan knew that he couldn’t remember a time where he felt so comfortable after sex before. Never comfortable enough for plushie discussion, anyway.

“Oh my god.” Phil laughed. “I usually–”

“Hide it when people are over? Me too.”

Their laughter petered out and the room was blanketed by silence. It was different than the silence that plagued him at his own lonely apartment. This kind was welcoming and comforting. It was laced with the remnants of laughter and old Muse songs. He felt like he should say something, anything, but he didn’t want to be the one to break it.

He woke up to the shrill familiar ringtone his coworker had set for herself. 

He blinked the sunlight out of his eyes and tried to piece together where he was and what was happening. When he remembered he shot up in bed. He was the guy that slept with someone and stayed over uninvited. He glanced down to see Phil snuggled up against him cozily buried in blankets. He was staring up at Dan blinking sleep out of his eyes.

“Good morning.” He finally yawned, smacking his lips.

“I– Sorry I didn’t mean to stay over. I must have fallen asleep.” He scrambled out of bed to grab his phone, cursing himself the entire time.

“I know you fell asleep. I saw that you were sleeping.” Phil shrugged.

Dan answered his phone and just stared at Phil in surprise.

“Dan?” Bree called out. She had started out as a nosy coworker but over the past five years ended up being one of Dan’s closest friends. That didn’t change the fact that she did  _ not _ seem pleased with him. “Hello? Where are you? I’m covering for you now but if you don’t get here  _ quick _ they’re going to be upset.”

“Ah, fuck, I overslept. I’m not too far away. I should be there in fifteen minutes if you can stall them that long.” There was a beat of silence. His flat was  _ much  _ farther away than that.

“Not that far away? Where, pray tell, are you at, Howell.”

Dan scoffed and glanced over at Phil. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” 

“Sounds like a perfect way to repay me for saving your ass today, I look forward to the details.” She hung up before Dan could get another word in. 

He sighed and quickly threw the rest of his clothes on. He glanced at Phil who was still watching him. 

“I uh, well thanks for everything.” Dan waved and half jogged out of the flat. He cursed how awkward he always had to make things and tried to focus on the good. He’d hooked up with someone. He’d had fun. Not everything had to be permanent. 

He repeated that to himself the entire way to work.

“I told you that guy would be good for you!” Bree pounced the second the two of them were alone. It had taken some sweet talking to convince the managers that Dan was there longer than they had thought and the short time he wasn’t was  _ totally _ for a justifiable work reason. Dan missed some of the details and had mostly nodded along to Bree’s masterplan. 

She flipped her bright pink braid over her shoulder. “I told you that you would love it when you started putting yourself out there and dating. That guy was a total babe, too.” She winked. “You’re practically glowing.” 

Dan went to correct her, fully prepared for the shock and judgement when Bree squeezed his arm gently.

“I was worried about you, you know? You look really happy and I’m  _ so _ glad.” 

The words died on his lips that he just bent in a fake smile instead. He knew she worried about him. Who was he to correct her in thinking he had something going right for himself for once? He couldn’t bring himself to tell her he just hooked up with the bartender instead.

“He seemed like a catch in his profile you showed me. What’s his name? Was it Samson?”

_ ‘It’s Phil and he is a catch, I just didn’t really manage to do so.’ _

“Er, yeah, Samson.” 

“Good for you, Dan.” 

He spent the rest of the day quietly working at his own desk instead of pestering Bree at hers. If she noticed, she didn’t say. It was late before he knew it. The sun was setting as he shut his computer down. 

Bree waited at the door for him, like she did every day. 

“Want to have a quick drink with me tonight? I don’t want to be out all night, I just need to unwind after all of those spreadsheets.” 

Dan hesitated. He turned her down most nights. After work all he ever wanted to do was go home and exist in only his pants, watching one of his favourite shows and eating food that was bad for him.

“Sure.” 

She perked up and bounced from toe to toe. “Oh I like the effect this Samson has on you,” she teased. 

He stopped at home to shower and change the stale day old clothes he was wearing. He couldn’t help staring at his reflection in the mirror harder. He wondered what Phil saw last night. 

He sighed and locked his apartment up, already regretting agreeing to Bree’s plans. 

*

They drank a few rounds and complained about work. Bree always had something to say and most days Dan just enjoyed being the one who got to listen to it all. 

He laughed and nodded along as she told him all the office gossip. 

Before long she was nursing water and calling an Uber. 

“Dan, you wanna split an Uber? I can walk the rest of the way home, or you can sleep on my sofa?” 

He shook his head but didn’t meet her eyes. “I should get home.” It sounded like a lame excuse even as he said it but she seemed buzzed enough not to notice.

With a promise to text as soon as she was home Dan watched the Uber Bree climbed into until he couldn’t see it anymore.

As soon as it was out of view, his own arrived.

He tried to tell himself this wasn’t the craziest thing he’d ever done. He wasn’t pitiful or pathetic or embarrassing or just plain lonely… He was just  _ curious _ . 

It seemed perfectly plausible that he was curious, mildly intrigued, that was all, up until he was sitting at the same stool he sat on the night before. There was no denying how badly he wanted to be in the same space as Phil.

Phil had his back to him and Dan felt like a fool. How desperate did this seem? 

He was just plotting his escape when Phil turned and saw him, and then promptly spilled someone’s drink all down his front. 

“I’m so sorry!” He squeaked and quickly made up a new drink for the woman rolling her eyes at the opposite end of the bar. 

He apologized a few more times, only being forgiven once he promised not to charge for the drink even though he remade it. He walked over to Dan and let out a heavy sigh. 

“Tough night?” Dan asked. He had no idea why it felt so easy to talk to Phil. He had been nervous the entire ride over. 

“It was.” Phil looked up. “I think it’ll be a bit better now,” he said, surprisingly suggestive.

Dan smiled brightly at him. “That’s really good to hear.”

  
Phil wrapped his shift up quickly. He got off work earlier than he had the night before, trading off with a grumpy looking man who hardly glanced their way as he clocked in and went behind the bar. 

“Back to mine again?” he asked breathlessly once he was ready to leave.

“That sounds great.” Dan nodded. “I’d like that a lot.” 

Phil smirked.

They discussed the new season of My Hero Academia, when Dan saw Phil’s phone case for the entire ride to his flat. They moved onto a video game that was  _ not _ as good as Phil kept arguing but Dan refused to budge. It turned into who would be best at what games as they kissed down the hallway. Phil threw his shoe at him as they undressed in the bedroom. It hit Dan right in the leg and he burst out laughing.

“Nice dodge attempt.” Phil giggled, tongue pinched between his teeth.

Dan moved forward until his hands were where they belonged, on Phil’s naked body again. 

“I’m assuming it’ll be just as bad when I throw all my items at you in Mario Kart and completely destroy–  _ Aah _ !” 

Dan knelt down and took as much of Phil in his mouth as he could, effectively making him the indisputable winner of  _ that _ argument. 

He worked Phil over until the salty flavor burst on his tongue. He tried not to think of how it was something he would usually go out of his way to do as he swallowed him down. 

Phil pulled him onto the bed and kissed him soundly once they were laying side by side, and Dan wasn’t far behind as Phil twisted his hand in all the right ways that made Dan’s toes curl. 

Phil propped himself up on an elbow and stared down at Dan. 

Dan couldn’t decipher the look on Phil’s face. It made him feel bare and exposed, which was ridiculous given the circumstances. He stared back, enjoying the view and pondering how even  _ this _ wasn’t that awkward. He knew it was time to put his clothes back on and do the walk of shame back home. 

He was just going to make an excuse to leave before things  _ did _ start to get awkward when Phil broke the silent by gasping excitedly and gently shoved him.

“We should order Domino’s!” 

“It’s like three in the morning,” Dan pointed out, but he followed Phil into his lounge, both of them only wearing their pants.

“We’re adults, Dan. We deserve to order pizza when we damn well please.”

Dan couldn’t argue with that.

Phil cracked his laptop open and within an hour they were slumped back on Phil’s sofa, sated and satisfied.  
“It’s so greasy but it’s _so_ _good_.” Dan moaned over the end screen of the anime they found to put on.

Phil laughed but Dan noticed his cheeks burn bright at the moan.

He just drew up the courage to initiate a round two but instead let out a huge tired yawn. It  _ was _ after four in the morning. 

“It’s a good thing I’m off tomorrow. I’m so tired.” Phil sighed.

Dan knew this was the subtle hint he was getting that it was time to leave. He tried not to show the disappointment on his face. 

It would only seem desperate. He really liked Phil and he really enjoyed himself, as strange as his night turned out to be. He had to accept that an odd fun night was just that.

Phil stood and stretched out his back with a satisfying crack accompanied with a pleased grunt.

“Alright well, uh thanks for the orgasm and pizza. I guess I should head out of here.” Dan joked weakly as he yawned and climbed to his feet. 

“Dan you can’t leave. It’s too late. You could– If you wanted you could stay the night again.” Phil offered. 

“Okay.” Dan could feel his face burn with how quickly he accepted the proposition. “No Edward Cullen staring this time though.” 

*

The third and fourth time Dan showed up at the bar he was embarrassed and shy all over again. 

By the fifth and sixth he waltzed into the bar like he owned the place. He went to his designated stool and made faces at Phil while he tried to work and hide his laughter, occasionally bringing Dan the occasional soda he’d order. 

It felt natural to fall into bed with Phil almost every night for weeks on end.

Dan couldn’t think of a time in his life where anything else felt so easy and natural as his time with Phil and he was terrified to put a label on it. 

Phil was happy to have Dan in his life and in his home. Dan wasn’t about to screw it up by making him second guessing what he was doing with someone like Dan.

His mum was meeting him at the office to go grab a quick coffee and discuss a large family holiday dinner that they had planned at a fancy restaurant before the party Saturday. Dan wished he could just fast forward to later in the night when he’d meet up with Phil.

“You have plans after work? Seriously? You?” Bree teased one day as she dug her phone and headphones out of her tiny backpack. 

“Sorry,” Dan said lamely.

She squinted up at him. “Don’t be sorry.” She smiled up at him. “You’re so obviously happy lately. Samson seems to be really good for you, isn’t he?” 

His Mum stepped out of the lift and hurried over to him. She always loved visiting him and seeing Bree, and he admittedly didn’t see her as much as he probably should. 

“Who’s Samson?” A group of their coworkers stopped on the way to the lift, half of them interested, half of them just moving with the herd mindlessly staring at their phones or having private conversations with each other. 

He was sort of friends with most of them. They liked to occasionally go out to dinner or for drinks and Dan usually made an excuse not to. Sometimes Bree would drag him along and he would go for her, but most of their coworkers were fine with just being coworkers. Bree was the type to befriend everyone though and Dan was wrapped around her finger just enough to get sucked into it. 

“Oh! That’s Dan’s new boyfriend!” Bree exclaimed excitedly.

“Dan that’s great!” An older woman named Meredith exclaimed. She was definitely the motherly one of the group and fretted over Dan more than necessary. 

There were murmurs of agreement. 

“You should bring him to the Christmas party Saturday,” someone called out.

“Oh that’s a great idea!” Bree grabbed his hands and jumped up and down. “That way you can introduce us finally. You know you were planning on cutting out on me and going to his house early that day anyway. You hinted to that earlier.” She said, accusatory. 

“I–” He looked nervously at his Mum who was looking surprised but pleased. This was not good.

“It will be so much fun!”

“My family are coming for dinner right before the party that night.” Dan suddenly remembered and motioned towards her. “I’m going from the dinner to the party so I don’t know–”

“Dan I would love if you brought your boyfriend along!”

“That’s great! You should introduce them! Dan I’m sure everyone in your life wants to meet this guy. You’re clearly gone for him,” Bree said and nodded with his mum.

Dan sighed.

Bree had a problem with not being able to handle Dan’s down days. She always thought the solution to him closing in on himself was to push him out in the open as far as she could. He knew it came from a place of love and misunderstanding but Dan wasn’t sure how much longer he could let her push at him. 

“I– Yeah, sure.” Dan found himself saying.

He rode the lift down and parted ways from Bree with enough nodding and agreements thrown out that she thought he was actively listening.

“Sorry dinner has to be a quick one! I do want to hear all about this Samson of yours though. I didn’t even know you were dating someone,” his mum rattled on.

Dinner, thankfully, actually  _ was _ a quick one and he managed to brush off most of her questions before he hugged her goodbye.

He sighed as his Uber let him out at the shopping mall he was meeting Phil. They were getting mulled wine and ingredients for cookies to bake later. 

He saw Phil waiting for him at the side of the building, a ways down. His stomach twisted in a knot of guilt. 

He could just say no and not go to the party at all. Fake a sickness? Just skip out?

Only he was tired of being that person. He was tired of the quiet laughter at him from the back of the office and he ultimately didn’t want to confront Bree.

Phil’s face lit up when he saw him and strode over in just a few big steps from his long legs.

“Ready for the best mulled wine your facehole has ever tasted?” he exclaimed.

Dan laughed, tension immediately melting. “Did you seriously just great me with ‘facehole’?” he asked. 

Phil shrugged with a smug smirk. “Maybe I just know what else you’ve done with your facehole.”

“Shut up.” Dan cackled and shoved him lightly.

“Ooh! Listen! ‘ _ Make my wish come true, all I want for Christmas is you _ ’ Go Queen Mariah!” 

Dan laughed and ignored the fluttering in his stomach. He felt buzzed and they hadn’t even made it to the wine yet. 

“This Christmas is really great so far.” Phil muttered quietly. “I feel like what we have is just so simple and low pressure. That’s rare, you know? I think what we have going is so good.” 

Dan felt like he’d been slapped across the face. 

“Oh look! That game I was telling you about is out!” Phil hurried inside of the gaming store while Dan stood back and watched him. 

Dan was  _ so _ fucked. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> [You can Reblog it on Tumblr here if you'd like! Much appreciated <3 <3 ](https://tortitabby.tumblr.com/post/189524760490/keep-secrets-just-to-keep-you)   
>  **  
> Let me know what you think! Second half before Christmas!**


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